Here’s what will happen next

The President of the United States has a fatal air disease that has killed more than 207,000 Americans and more than one million people worldwide. The United States now faces a national security crisis, the economy is in ruins, and we are one month away from a controversial presidential election on which the very future of American democracy depends.

Against this backdrop, in a year of unfathomable horrors, Donald Trump contracts covid-19 is what leads people to finally admit that no one has a clue what will happen next. As far as politics go, this is absolutely true – no one knows because nothing like this has ever happened before.

Of course, “nothing like this has ever happened before” is what many of us have been saying for the past four years. The shock of erased standards, defiance of the law, spreading social unrest and an ongoing global pandemic have caused a collective nausea that makes it difficult to even think a whole thought, let alone feel happy and satisfied.

Then came Trump’s diagnosis of Covid-19. When we learned that the man responsible for much of this all-consuming upheaval had contracted the very virus he called a “hoax” when Americans died, it shattered our mental paralysis.

It gave many people disgusted by Trump a shake of schadenfreude – a gloomy, shimmering assurance that karmic justice exists, even if it could somehow make matters dramatically worse.

To be clear, I’m not happy Trump has the virus, although I understand a lot of people do. Do I hope that will reduce the likelihood of him being president for another four years? Yes, he’s a bossy bully and the biggest asshole in the world. Do I think he brought it in? Yes – I’m amazed it took so long, given his aversion to science. But I don’t want anyone to have illness. Really, I just want to never think of him again.

Regardless of what you think of Trump, the president’s diagnosis of covid-19 only adds to the uncertainty at a time defined by quickly-revealing impermanence. But some things will not change. In an attempt to find some solace in the middle of a year of distress, I tried to think of a few things that we can all be sure will still be true tomorrow. Let’s see here …

  • A week will last seven days, according to the Gregorian calendar

  • A dog will always be cute, also according to the Gregorian calendar

  • The sky will be blue and the pedants will remind us of refraction

  • The Earth will continue to warm, bringing us closer to extinction

  • Chocolate will remain delicious for many people but will still be deadly for dogs, proving the amorality of the universe

  • The light will travel at 1079252848 km / h in a vacuum, a square will have four sides, the calculation will always be difficult

  • Jeff Bezos will be richer than me

  • Washington State will always have a county called Skamania, and its annual fair will continue to feature no ska groups that I know of.

  • Mathematical proofs will remain steadfastly true; will never be created or destroyed

  • My wife will never have seen The matrix

  • I will never have seen Parenthood

  • Caring for someone else will always be worth it

  • The only social constant will be disagreement

  • The dress will be white and gold

It was more difficult than I expected. Plus, I doubt most of these things will make anyone less anxious for the future. Mathematics? If this is where we are in terms of reassurance, then we are truly doomed.

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