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Sex Advice: Weird Orgasm Myths Women Believe

Eating brunch with new friends at a crowded Surry Hills cafe. She’s bisexual, but in her first relationship with another woman, about which she can’t stop gushing.

“I thought I was asexual,” she says.

“My boyfriend made me feel like it was really hard to get me off. You just thought I didn’t like sex, right?”

She stared at the kids who had just sat next to us, leaned across the table and gestured to meet us on our way.

“But now…” she begins in a low voice.

“All we do is have sex, and I’m amazed at how quickly I’m having an orgasm. She can get me there in a matter of minutes.” You can, it’s incredible!”

I am not surprised by this revelation.

Over the years, women have been writing to me.

If you ask these same women, “Will masturbating make you orgasm?”

This is because the problem isn’t in the ability to reach the climax, but because the mechanics of getting there are particularly complicated. research shows that women can achieve the Big O incredibly efficiently and reliably during solo sex. Usually just her 4 minutes.

Also, the orgasm gap (no doubt the stat mentioned here: heterosexual men turn off 95% of the time during sex, while family partners turn off 65% of the time) It is also worth noting that it is not. extends to homosexual women.of same study Lesbians climax about as often as heterosexual men.

An entire industry is built around the idea that undressing a woman is a tedious and complicated task that requires the support of supplements, e-courses and clinical interventions to show how difficult it is for men to find their clitoris. Despite the proliferation of online memes joking about what…the female orgasm is not elusive.

Women are not inherently less interested in sex – countless studies We make sure that we are at least as interested as men, if not more.

However, we believe that cheating on people with vulva makes their pleasure mysterious and complicated rather than dealing with the fact that most men are neither skilled nor invested in pleasing them. We live in a culture that makes us believe that we are.

Sex education instills this complacency in boys by teaching them about wet dreams, erections, and ejaculation, but not how to reciprocate pleasure.

Conversely, girls learn that their bodies are vessels for discomfort and pain. She warns of menstrual cramps and childbirth, and quietly tells her that losing “her virginity” will probably hurt. But never the fact that their bodies can experience joy, release, and satisfaction.

Logically, they grow up to be women who have sex, and that sex is not only largely non-orgasmic, but 3 out of 4 of them. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists), will become physically painful at some point, and Only half of those affected I won’t talk about it.

Heterosexual men joke that they can straighten out gay women (who have the most orgasms of any female group) while at the same time relying on them for pleasure It’s ironic that women fail.

Of course, heterosexual men are rarely encouraged to interrogate anything they sexually bring to the table like a woman. There is none. No magazine spouts “oral her sex tips to keep your girlfriend interested” like the magazines most women grew up with.

Comedian Amy Schumer jokes about this confidence gap on Netflix standup. leather specials.

“Have you ever had a man’s c*** in your mouth and said, ‘…it tastes…ok?’ I don’t drink much water and I’m worried. ”

‘No! And you’re like, ‘Yeah, everything I do is a miracle! ”

This end result of this ideology is the false dichotomy that all sexual problems return to women.

If a woman’s male partner does not work out, she internalizes this as a personal failure. But if she doesn’t reach her peak, her problems are with her too. She must be sexually flawed, “difficult”, or have a low libido.

In reality, there are no pathological problems that prevent women from enjoying sex. The road to orgasm for a woman is neither long nor complicated.

Undoubtedly, there will be men who will argue that I am wrong.

Some of them may declare my very suggestion that they are not doing enough is misandry. Because, as Schumer puts it, in a world where men are taught that everything they do is a “miracle,” critical feedback from women is routinely labeled man-hating.

And what I mean is, you prove my point.

Consider ditching your ego and consciously investing in learning about your partner’s anatomy, turn-ons, and desires. Because if you don’t, there are queer women out there who probably will.

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Sex Advice: Weird Orgasm Myths Women Believe

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