Why Meghan Markle Is Relaunching Her Blog The Tig Is A Distressing Idea

Imagine the possibilities for just one glorious moment. A $114 candle called “This Smells Like Buckingham Palace.” A $417 curated selection of crystals to remove negative energy from in-laws. Private cashmere his wrap perfect for when his jet gets a little chilly.

In case you missed it, or were distracted by other news like the US banking system in jeopardy, we have reports of developments from Montecito.

Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle A closed, pre-royal blog The Tig is BACK! Look, new york postThe former actress reportedly saw the documents she filed with the US Patent and Trademark Office to reboot her website. mirror He said it could be up and running as early as next week. A big win for crystal fans around the world.

This patent office document can mean two things: Megan At the forefront of digital land grabs to sell overpriced vitamins to lululemon-loving 40-somethings, she’s putting the finishing touches on her artisanal Wordpress templates. Enterprising people can get mitts to sell Sussex goods.

But if the 41-year-old were to follow the path of taking over Paltrow’s empire of vaginal eggs and aromatherapy essentials, it would be a big mistake, and almost as bad as La Paltrow was when he starred in a terrible movie. It’s bad. shallow hull.

We all know the score when it comes to Meghan and her husband prince harry, Duke of Sussex. In January 2020, the two were annoyed enough to open Chelsea’s Flower show on her street whenever she rented Uncle Elton’s private jet to enjoy the sun and Sancerre for a few days. I decided that I suffered from hacking. Instead, they planned to carve out a “progressive new role.” It was later revealed that the late Queen did not approve of the new role.

Suddenly, Harry and Meghan are kind of two titles with a bunch of random letters attached to their names and all of Zayn’s official status. one directionThat meant they lost the right to use government protection teams and diplomatic lanes at Heathrow. (Ok, the last one is just a guess.)

Thus, our two brave heroes were forced to pay a big ax and a new mortgage to enter Netflix, Spotify and Penguin Random House.

Unfortunately, their professional star hasn’t exactly continued on the same stratospheric trajectory as they were inking those deals. biography spareWe broke a huge record so our in-house publicity team was able to issue a press release to advertise our success. But the problem with these is that they’re both his one-offs.

Harry and Meghan are in a pretty tight spot today. they need to keep making money Royal Calamity It seems unlikely that he will continue to cut the audience’s masters.

U.S. appetite for the Sussexes’ unique brand of tin-eared, selfish Windbuggery seems to have all but evaporated, and public interest in seeing real royalty has waned. seems to have been lost. bag the whole crown And the dice have long been failing.

Ok: there was no hug. Kate, Princess of Wales Never invited her sister-in-law to a combined vat of Pinot Grigio. And Meghan came too late to realize that being a duchess meant being regularly told ‘no’ by former military courtiers of Ramrod Straight while living in a free house in gray Windsor. Soho she’s far away from House, Toto.

But it’s a story the world has heard over and over again, and to paraphrase Marx, it sounded like a tragedy the first time and a farce the second.

It’s understandable that Meghan would want to bring back The Tig. That would give her a platform to write a mundane essay about her joy or her power of “yes” or any chatter that happens to her during her morning qigong. It could give the Duchess a chance to actively make Scryons.

Many Hollywood actresses have turned away from walking the red carpet or turning down roles in their next movie. transformers To become a highly successful lifestyle entrepreneur.leading the flock Gwyneth Eggs in her jade vagina, but Jessica Alba’s Nasdaq is also listed honest companywhich is worth almost $260 million, but Kate Hudson’s fabtics It reportedly makes $750 million in revenue annually.

But if the Duchess of Sussex decides to follow in their footsteps and whip out candles, sports bras and “clean” baby products, it would be a very serious miscalculation on her part.

If she needs proof, she’ll have to look for her step-aunt Sarah FergusonThe Duchess of York, a woman who has had so many pies, and put Martha Stewart in a serious run for her money.

Like Harry and Meghan, she rushed to America after her relationship with the royal family soured and required a lot of preparation, but the plan worked out a little better. But her name-slapping approach has clearly backfired, with her stock plummeting with each new sponsorship deal and transparent cash grab.

now, Fergie It always seems to be about a step away from selling dangerous slimming teas on Instagram. Over the past 25 years her production company has gone bankrupt and her two reality shows have gone from one to another. find sara and estate duchess – Curling the late Queen’s toes, Prince Philip must have thrown an empty can of lager on the TV.

Her Duchess Discoveries wellness website vanished into thin air, she popped up on America’s home shopping network selling juicers, co-wrote two Mills & Boon books, and she’s been the author of dozens of children’s books. I slapped the name of In 2020, she launched her The Duchess Collection of overpriced teas and biscuits, donated an unspecified portion of her proceeds to her charity, and listed only her Gmail address on her website.

There’s something almost impressive about diligently exploiting every last cent of her royal society earnings, but apparently these days, she’s mostly kind of a punch line. guilty as.)

this is the future Harry and Megan If they don’t start to be more selective and cautious, they’re looking down. Already aside from the content deal, they also signed on to the Harry Walker Speaker Bureau to become an “Impact Partner” and invest in Wall Street firm Ethic, while he is the top impact manager for a coaching platform called BetterUp. responsible and she makes investments. Vegan oat latte brand.

Each time they add another deal to their roster, they spread themselves thinner and dilute the brand slightly more.

Remember, that’s all before we get into their story humanitarian work And the climate crisis, gender and racial inequality, access to paid parental leave, misinformation they decided to fix, and all the speculation that Meghan may have political aspirations, etc. , a highly ambitious collection of contemporary pressing issues.

Their MO looks like everything, everywhere, all at once (and hopefully someone pays).

However, having to learn how to run Helter Skelter from cause to book, TV show, speech to Harry, and refill toner in the office is starting to look suspicious as they’re desperate. Besides solidifying their position, American companyphilanthropy, celebrity landscape as well as, like Fergie, are squeezing every last dollar possible from brands.

So if Duchess Meghan relaunches The Tig as a Gwyneth-esque lifestyle website, vigorously promoting vegan tampons and $800 blenders, it could make some cash in the short term, but in the end. will be at a disadvantage.

Part of the problem here seems to be that they want to be respected leaders on the humanitarian front, and they want to attract millions. I think it’s impossible to embrace her inner Jeff Bezos while wearing a halo.

Put another way, you can’t save the world one speech at a time while strumming a $172 sage’s dirty stick. (Have you seen Michelle Obama selling instant smoothie kits?)

Given that they’re overlooking the barrels they’ve had to pay their bills in the United States over the decades, they’re looking to protect royal stardust from eroding like Fergie’s in the long run. strategy, resulting in a decline in her commercial value.

what Sussex There is a great need right now to rebrand their brand and transform it from a two-man grievance machine trying to grab attention to something more positive and representative of the public psyche.Not only are Americans actually liking it, but both are currently at record lows. Net support rate And while Queen Camilla is more favored in the United States, it helps protect their financial future.

And does the world really need another slim, beautiful woman selling overpriced activewear or hand-carved cheeseboards or chakra-realigning pastel nonsense?

I know what Marcus meant.

Broadly speaking, Harry and Meghan are currently facing a choice between money and feelings. (Yes, yes, that might be my worst pun.

Daniela Elser is an author and royal commentator with over 15 years of experience in leading Australian media titles.