Sorry to break it on you, but your soulmate doesn’t exist

The soulmate ideal creates unrealistic expectations for our intimate relationships. We do not work to complete ourselves if we expect others to complete us. I love my partner deeply, but if I had believed in my soulmate, I would have believed that he was passionate about rugby (such a brutal sport). How can you explain your lack of enthusiasm for your cat, or your beloved cat?

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Believing in a soulmate puts people in bad situations. Some women say, “I can’t leave him.” “He’s my soulmate.” The man may be abusive, he may be grieving her – hell, he may have a wife hiding somewhere No! – But Plato ordered her to do so, and she sticks to him.

The good news is that soulmates don’t exist. We are not the only ones who deserve it. There are probably several. No need to look for the 1 in 8 billion or fixate on the wrong person. We can aim to find someone who is compatible with us, makes us feel good, and is really fun to be with.

“Nonsense,” I hear you say. “My partner is my soulmate.” And I’m so glad you believe it. You probably love your partner deeply and you are very well suited. If you hadn’t met your partner, if they lived in Antarctica or Zanzibar, you would have met someone else.

As for Plato, well, he really pulled the concept out of nothing. He died without marrying. He may have invented a soulmate, but he never found himself.

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